


Choices

by lookingglassalice6



Series: Steve and Ava [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-29 19:27:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20087512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lookingglassalice6/pseuds/lookingglassalice6
Summary: Ava Erskine’s unique physiology has made her a target for her scientist father’s colleague. He decides to defect to America and join the SSR. He continues his work for them, making the perfect soldier.





	1. Chapter 1

“I am so sorry.” My father, Abraham, hung his head over the desk where my medical files were laid out.

“It’s not your fault. It’s theirs.” I stood next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“I was supposed to protect you. Zola had no right to inject you with the serum.” He stood up and knocked everything off the desk. I stood back, my father was not an angry man. I was 18 and had never seen him lose his temper. “We are done here.”

“What?” I frowned at him. Was he dismissing me?

“With this, with HYDRA.”

“But…we can’t just leave. They won’t let us. And where would we go?” He had been a scientist for the organization since I could remember.

“We’re going to America. I was contacted by the Scientific Strategic Reserve a while ago. The direction they are taking my work here…I can’t stand by it. And now I find out they were experimenting on you. They stole my files, all of your confidential information.” He took his glasses off.

“I’m sorry. Sorry that I’m different.” I chewed on the inside of my cheek.

“I’m sorry that they look at you and see something to be used. Your differences are meant for more than a lab rat.” He walked out and I sighed.

I started to pick up the contents of my medical files. The top sheet is what triggered this whole situation. Mostly the scribbled note at the bottom:

Subject: Avaliese Marie Erskine

DOB: 12/9/25  
Subject presents with preternatural attributes incl.

Mentality Based

Innate capability/exceptional mentality- Can know and/or understand subjects without research or prior experience with subject. IQ is far above genius level.  
ESP Based*

Empathy- Can sense and control others emotions (Most likely connected to level of IQ  
Psychometry- Can sense details of objects and locations past (Possibly connected to latent emotional energy connected to objects and locations)  
*I have administered the test serum to see the reaction on subjects natural abilities. Subject resists any mind control, brainwashing, memory manipulation when chemically induced-Z*

I shuddered to think what his next step in tampering with my mind would include. I didn’t even know that’s what Zola had given me. He said it was a vitamin shot, I had been so tired lately. Sensing others emotions got exhausting after a while. Trying to conceal the fact was worse.

Days passed, Abraham kept me in a sort of isolation. HYDRA would get no more of me. One evening he told me we were going out to dinner and a show. Instead we met soldiers who ushered us to America. They settled us in Queens. He went back to the project, the SSR had outstanding equipment. After a few years he began working with a very interesting man, Howard, on the mechanics needed to accompany the serum.

Eventually it was complete and we were ready for trials. I was considered father’s nurse. Being a woman in the SSR wasn’t easy. No one considered me my father’s equal, little did they know I helped him and Howard through every step of the planning. I probably knew more than they did. But I hated the feeling. Still, it would’ve been nice to have some recognition. Really the only other women were secretaries. One day, a new recruit was making suggestive comments to me. A brunette overheard and joined us.

“All I was saying is a dame like you should be out looking for a good man to take care of her. Make her a good wife.” It took all my effort to not roll my eyes into the back of my head, or make him suddenly feel like he needed to skip away like a schoolgirl. He reeked of sexual emotions, I could handle from the men as long as it wasn’t directed at me.

“Well, we will be sure to keep out an eye for a good man then, soldier. Off you go.” She waved him away. He looked at her, noticed her ranking as an Agent and skulked away.

“You must be Agent Carter.” I smiled, she had been sent to us from Washington. She was smart, qualified, and just who we needed in the project. She would be directly under Colonel Phillips.

“I am, you must be Miss Erskine. A pleasure.” She shook my hand.

She became my friend. When I wasn’t in the lab she was training me to take care of myself. She never commented about what a quick study I was. I think she knew something was off with me. But she treated me like anyone else. I had never had a feminine role model before.

—

“I must thank Agent Carter for spending time with you. I was very obviously never a fighter…or a woman for that matter. She’s been very kind to you.” Abraham was scanning some new recruit files in the enlistment tent. I was waiting for Peggy to go see Howard present what he claimed was a ‘hover-car’ just outside.

“I know. She says it’s nice to have an intelligent young protege.”

“Yes, young.” His smile faltered. The only effect we had seen from my exposure to the serum was that I was not aging as fast as I should. I was approaching 30 and still looked 20. Not a big concern, just something to watch.

“Come dear, let’s go see if Howard blows something up.” Peggy arrived and we walked off. We stood near the stage as Howard prepared.

“The technology seems solid.” Howard glanced in my direction. I smirked.

“I told you my opinion already, it seems solid, but the longevity of the hover is in question.”

Howard waved me off and I was proven correct when the car failed. It did hover for some time. Peggy and I walked back, joking about Howard’s ‘mad scientist’ ways. We passed a group of four watching the stage as Howard apologized to the crowd. One of the men was an officer, he had dark hair and a beautiful face. His eyes followed Peggy and I as he talked to his date. He raised an eyebrow at us. What a charmer, he knew he was impressive. Peggy gave a small smile and I chuckled.

“Hm.” Peggy nudged me. “I think he likes you.”

“I think he likes anything pretty.” I laughed. At the sound of my laughter the other man in the group looked over. His date seemed uninterested in him and he had been standing awkwardly. He was fair haired and smaller than his friend. His eyes were clear and expressive. I felt a surge of righteousness and then shock from him as he looked at me. I smiled and ducked my head as we passed. Flirting was easy when you knew what the other person was feeling. The tall dark soldier felt attraction and confidence. The smaller one felt attraction and resignation. It was interesting. I went a little deeper and saw the bond between the men, deeper than Peggy and my friendship. Fierce loyalty. I made a small noise and pulled back. I fell in love with that feeling. It was intoxicating.

“Ava? Are you feeling okay?” Peggy touched my arm and we moved forward to the enlistment office.

“Yes, I thought I forgot something in the lab. Sorry. I will see you tomorrow.” Peggy nodded and went to go back to camp. I went to find my father.

We discussed some of the potential candidates in the medical personnel office. So far we had no clear options. One of the enlistment people interrupted us, handing us a folder. Abraham looked over it for a moment and stood.

“Perfect. Ava, come dear.” I stood and followed him to an exam room. A man was grabbing his things, very nervous. I had a fear of being reprimanded. We entered and I saw the man’s face, it was the gentleman I had seen earlier. The blonde one.

“So you want to go overseas, kill some Nazis?” Abraham asked pleasantly.

“Excuse me?” The man asked.

“Doctor Abraham Erskine. I represent the Strategic Scientific Reserve.” He explained. The man’s eyes moved to me. “This is my daughter, she is also my nurse.”

“Avaliese Erskine.” Abraham passed me the file as he talked to the man.

“Steve Rogers. Where are you from?”

“Queens. 73rd Street and Utopia Parkway. Before that, Germany.”

I scanned the file. His health issues were many. He had been rejected from several recruiting offices. That would explain the nervousness.

“Do you want to kill Nazi’s?” Abraham asked again, drawing my attention back to their conversation.

“Is this a test?” Rogers asked. He wasn’t sure who to watch, me or my father.

“I don’t want to kill anyone.” He said slowly. I focused on his emotions. This was very true, he had animosity but not malicious. “I don’t like bullies. I don’t care where they’re from.”

Abraham looked at me and I nodded slightly. That righteousness, it was his driving force.

“Well, there are so many big men fighting in this war. Maybe what we need now is the little guy, huh?” My father smiled at me then Rogers. “I can offer you a chance. Only a chance.”

“I’ll take it.” He was elated, I felt giddy from it. We left the exam room.

“Good. So where is the little guy from, actually?” Abraham asked.

“Brooklyn.” Rogers announced proudly.

“Congratulations, soldier.” I stamped the file and handed it to Rogers. He blushed and murmured thanks.


	2. Chapter 2

Camp Lehigh was where the recruits were sent. I was out there every few days to observe. Talking to the recruits was not very helpful. Most of them wanted to talk to my father or to impress upon me how virile they were. More often than not I pushed a feeling of nausea on them so they would leave me alone. 

Rogers was different. He told me about his family, his father’s service, and his best friend. That was the dark-haired man I had seen with him at the expo.

“Bucky was there for me. He’s always been there for me.” Rogers usually spent our sessions staring out the window. Like he couldn’t wait to get back to training.

“That kind of kinship is hard to find. You’re very lucky, Steven.” I smiled.

“Your father is the only one who calls me Steven.” He looked up with a crooked smile.

“Sorry, I can call you Mr. Rogers.” I chuckled. “My father calls everyone anyone younger than him by their first name. Habit.”

“No, you can call me Steven, or Steve.” He was looking out the window again.

“Okay, you can call me Miss Erskine, Steve.” I teased, I could tell he blushed.

Later in the day I met up with Peggy and rode with her while she checked on the men running drills.

“I think you were right, Ava. He may be small, but his drive is incredible. He studies day and night. Pushes his physical limitations.” I was riding with Peggy in a jeep as we caught up to the men running. Steve was wheezing and clearly tired. The drill sergeant was explaining that no one has been able to retrieve a small flag form a tall flag pole.

“The man who can, will get a ride back to camp with Agent Carter and Miss Erskine!” The group of men charged the flagpole. They tried to scramble up it, to no avail. They became dejected and readied to start the run back. Steve was eyeing the pole, concentrating on its construction. He then strode forward and removed a bolt holding the pole up. It fell and he grabbed the flag before climbing into the back of the jeep. Peggy smirked and drove off.

“Well done Steve.” I glanced back at him before making a notation.

Small details like that made him a strong front-runner. Then came the day we knew.

“You’re not actually thinking about picking Rogers are you?” Phillips strode to where Peggy was running drills. Abraham walked beside him, I trailed along with a clipboard.

“I am more than just thinking of it. He is the clear choice.” Abraham had his mind made up, I agreed. Phillips railed about how Steve was the worst possible choice. I watched him going through his drills. He would push his hair out of his eyes every now and then. He was a fighter, that was the bottom line. I had wandered forward and was next to Peggy. I could feel something directed towards me.

“You realize if I add up all the time you spend staring at Rogers, it is not even close to how you watch the others. And I’ve noticed you call him Steve now?”

“I’m observing. What are you implying?”

“Grenade!” Phillips yelled and tossed an object. Peggy and I darted forward but Steve had jumped on the grenade. He curled his body around it.

“Get away! Get back!” He waved everyone away. It didn’t detonate, Steve looked up at Abraham and Phillips. Phillips muttered something and my father smiled.

“I’m not implying a thing, dear.” Peggy shrugged and went back to running drills.

I watched Rogers stand up and immediately return to the line. Abraham joined me.

“I’ll ask him tonight. If he agrees, tomorrow is the day. I will ask you to escort him from the camp with Peggy. He may be in need of your…relaxing influence.” My father chuckled and walked away.

-

The implications of Steve being chosen hit me that night. Things could go wrong, the serum unlocked potential. I had to convince myself that I was right. Everything we had seen from him, he was a good person. I was chewing on my lip and staring out the window of the car that was taking us to the lab. He seemed concerned about my silence, so he started to talk.

“I know this neighborhood. I got beat up in that alley. And that parking lot. And behind that diner.”

“Did you enjoy getting pummeled?” I looked over to him and smiled. “Why not just run?”

“You start running and they’ll never let you stop. Stand up and push back. You can’t say no forever, right?” He looked away from the window to me.

“I don’t know. Seems like some can. Women are just used to hearing the word ‘no’. Especially in our careers.”

“I guess I just don’t know why you’d wanna be in the army if you’re a beautiful dame. Or a beautiful…a woman. I know you want to be a doctor…agent, you’re not a dame. But you are beautiful and, um….” He stuttered.

“You’re not that comfortable talking to women are you?” I smiled.

“I’ve talked to you more than any other woman I can remember. Women aren’t exactly lining up to dance with a guy they might step on.” He looked down at his hands.

“Too bad for them. Come, you must have danced once.” I tilted my head.

“Asking a woman to dance has always seemed so terrifying. And the past few years, it didn’t seem important. Figured I’d wait.” He shrugged and looked back out the window.

“Wait? Wait for what?”

“The right partner.”

-

My father addressed the crowd who had gathered for the procedure. I was helping get Steve loaded into the capsule.

“Roomy.” He commented. I think he was slightly embarrassed since he had to remove his shirt. I was inserting the tubes of serum on one side of the capsule.

“Not for long.” I muttered and filled a syringe as my father joined us.

“Huh?” Rogers asked me. I shook my head and gave him the shot.

“That wasn’t so bad.”

“That was penicillin.” My father whispered and shrugged at Steve’s expression. 

They started the countdown and I could feel the tension in the room. Steve was scared. I put a hand on his as the serum entered his body. I helped him to calm down and his eyes met mine. He wanted to ask why his emotions suddenly changed, he felt it since I was touching him. I shook my head slightly and put a finger to my lips as I started to step away. His fingers gripped hand for a moment and he let me go. I went to stand by Howard.

“Here goes nothing.” He breathed.

“Steven, can you hear me?” My father asked as he knocked on the capsule.

“Probably too late to go to the bathroom, right?” Steve called. I covered my eyes with goggles and faced the machine as Howard initiated the vita rays. Then I heard Steve screaming in pain.

“Shut it down!” I grabbed Howard’s arm as my father called to kill the reactor.

“No! Don’t! I can do this!” Steve yelled.

The transformers exploded as we hit 100%. The room fell silent and the capsule opened. The potential that Rogers had in him was astounding. His physique had been taken to the height of perfection. He was a little weak and had to be assisted out of the capsule. All the spectators came to the floor to see him.

“How do you feel?” I asked as I approached him. I meant physically, his emotions were all over. My father was holding him up, a pleased smile on his face.

“Taller.” Rogers looked around.

“Yes, much…taller.” I reached a hand out, wanting to touch him. His body was sculpted and glistening. My lips parted and I realized I was breathing deeply. I needed to pull it back before anyone could tell how aroused I was. I pulled my hand back and handed him a shirt. He looked at me with amusement in his eyes.

An explosion rocked the lab from the viewing area. Everyone ducked and I saw a man grab the last vial of serum from Abraham’s bag. He then turned and shot my father twice in the chest.

“Father?” My voice was weak and I dropped to my knees next to him. Steve scrambled over to us and I felt a surge of rage. Rogers flinched as I accidentally projected. I jumped to my feet and ran up the stairs after the shooter.

“Ava, stop!” Peggy called. I ignored her and charged to the street. The shooter’s getaway car was headed straight towards me. I pulled out my gun, I couldn’t focus my energy on any of my powers. I shot at the car and was tackled by Steve. His weight knocked the breath out of me and I growled at him.

“I had him!” I yelled, my eyes blurred with tears.

“Sorry!” He jumped up and chased the car. Peggy slid to a stop near me and helped me to my feet. I was sobbing now, I grasped at her.

“Abraham, Peggy, he’s dead! My father! I felt it, I felt him die.” I buried my head in her shoulder.

“Shhh, shhh. Sweetie, pull it back, you’re muddling the control over my mind.” She stroked my hair and whispered to me. I filed the fact that my abilities were that obvious away for later. My father was dead. The last vial of serum, his life’s work, was gone. In the hands of the enemy. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, it was HYDRA.

=

Manipulating emotions was an art, so was mastering them. I shut off my feelings and just sort of tapped in on others. I looked sad, lost, and I was. But I was also numb. I didn’t understand. My father was a good man.

“Av- Miss Erskine, do you think you have enough?” Steve’s gentle voice snapped me out of my thinking. I realized I had almost overfilled the syringe I was using to draw blood from him.

“Sorry.” I turned away and started to prep the blood to go into vials.

A research team would be trying to figure out the elements of the serum. I also withdrew some of my own. The lab would be trying to reproduce the serum. My father didn’t want me to know all the parts, he was worried it would make me a target. He was right.

“I’m sorry for your loss. He deserved more than this.” Steve’s voice behind me made me sad. I wanted him to comfort me. I shook my head to get rid of the selfish thoughts.

“I know, but if it could only work once he would be happy it was you.” Steve nodded.

“Miss Erskine, I am sorry for your loss. But could you enlighten us on who killed your father?” The senator who was responsible for the SSR was furious about the loss of my father. But they still had me, someone who had been in HYDRA.

“It is a deep science division of the Nazis.” I sighed and faced the room. Peggy shot me a sympathetic look from where she stood with Stark and Phillips. “It is led by a man called Johann Schmidt. He was very invested in my father’s work. HYDRA is…a cult. Schmidt is worshiped and considered invincible. He’s a monster. He has another scientist, Zola, so you can bet they will be reproducing the serum as soon as they deconstruct it.”

“So what are you gonna do about it?” The senator asked Phillips.

“Spoke to the president this morning. As of today, the SSR is retasked.”

“Colonel?” Peggy asked.

“We’re taking the fight to HYDRA. Miss Erskine has been drafted as an Agent due to her knowledge of the enemy. She will continue to work on the serum.” My eyes widened. I was an Agent now? “Carter, Stark, and Erskine pack your bags and get ready to leave tonight for London.”

“Sir, if you’re going after Schmidt, I want in.” Steve asked Phillips. His eyes darted to me.

“You’re an experiment. You’re going to Alamogordo.” Phillips declared.

“The serum worked.” Steve pressed.

“I asked for an army son, all I got was you. You are not enough.” Phillips explained. Steve’s jaw clenched and his eyes dropped. That had hurt. I moved towards him and Peggy grabbed my arm. She hustled Howard and me out of the room.

“No time for that, dear, you can console him later. We have a war to win, so pull it together and let’s go Agent Erskine.”


	3. Chapter 3

We had arrived in Italy. There had been a devastating attack by Schmidt. We hadn’t received all the details and when we arrived we learned Steve was there performing. The survivors of the force were in no mood for him.

The Senator had turned Steve into a showpiece. He was the Army’s mascot and nothing more. He put on a good show, but this was a shame to my father’s work. It was raining when I approached him under a tent. He was drawing, he had shown me some of his work and he was talented. I came up behind him and looked over his shoulder at his picture.

“Hm, you got the costume wrong.” I said close to his ear.

“What are you doin’ here?” He was gloomy.

“I go where they tell me. That was quite a performance.”

“I had to improvise. Crowds are usually more enthusiastic. Bond sales bump in every state I visit, you know.” He said this with a rehearsed tone like he had repeated it to himself often.

“Oh, the Senator is here, is he?”

“At least I’m involved. Phillips would have me locked in a lab.”

“You say that like those are your only options. You don’t even recognize who you are.”

“You’re the expert then? Who am I?” He stood and faced me, ready to argue.

“Someone who has the potential to change the world.” I said fiercely.

“This is all I ever wanted, to serve my country. And I’m wearing tights.” He deflated.

“Yes, they’re flattering.” I rolled my eyes and he raised his head. “Schmidt sent out a force to Rosano. That’s why we’re here. 200 men went against him, less than 50 returned. The survivors of the one-oh-seventh were in that audience. The rest were killed or captured.”

“The one-oh-seventh?” His terror hit me, it had a bitter taste that made my skin crawl. I blocked it.

“Yes…what?” Steve charged to Phillips’ tent, I followed and skidded to a stop next to Peggy.

“I should’ve locked you in a tank.” Peggy said out of the corner of her mouth. I shrugged and bit my lip.

“Colonel Phillips?” Steve asked.

“If it isn’t the star-spangled man with a plan. What’s the plan today?” Phillips didn’t look up from his papers.

“I need the casualty list for Rosano.” Steve’s edginess was getting to me. I was shifting from foot to foot and Peggy elbowed my arm. I could feel something else…loyalty…camaraderie. I suddenly remembered Bucky.

“You don’t get to give me orders, son.”

“One name. Sergeant James Barnes from the hundred and seventh.” I was knocked a little breathless from the realization. Phillips pointed at me and I made a face.

“We’re gonna have a conversation later that you won’t enjoy.” He growled. Oh, well, I expected that. He would calm down by then…one way or another.

“Please tell me if he’s alive. B-A-R…” Steve started. The Col. interrupted him to confirm, the name sounded familiar to the condolence letters he had signed.

“I’m sorry.” Phillips kept signing.

“What about the others? Are you planning a rescue mission?” Steve pushed. I wanted to warn him that the Col. was reaching a breaking point.

“Yeah! It’s called winning the war.”

“But…you know where they are, why not at least-”

“They’re thirty miles behind the lines, through the most heavily fortified territory in Europe. We’d lose more men than we’d save. But I don’t expect you to understand that, because you’re a chorus girl.” First Steve was not enough, now he’s a chorus girl. I felt the shame and frustration and my eyes watered.

“I need to go look at the maps.” I muttered to Peggy and left the tent. Steve strode past me. He washed over me like a wave. “Dear lord, Steve, are you walking to Austria?!”

“If I have to.” I grabbed his arm.

“When I said live to your potential I didn’t mean go on a suicide mission. Let them devise a strategy.”

“By the time they do that it could be too late.” He grabbed my hand and took it off his arm. “You said I could make a difference. Did you mean it?”

“Of course.” I pushed sincerity into those two words. His hand was still on mine.

“Let me go.”

“Fine, but give me five minutes.” I took off.

-

I had convinced Stark to give Steve a lift to Austria. We were in the plane over the area where the team went missing.

“I feel like I should go with you.” I frowned. My combat skills were not where they should be, a few more weeks of training and I would know every attack, defense and weapon known to man.

“You’re going to be in enough trouble coming on the plane with me.” He chuckled.

“The benefits of having classified intel about the enemy, job security. You, however…” I felt a surge of regret.

“Ava, if we’re not in too big a rush I thought we could stop off in Lucerne for late-night fondue.” Stark called back to me. His rakishness was endearing, especially because he knew I had no interest in him. He enjoyed teasing me about it.

“Um, Mr. Stark is quite the aviator.” Steve commented, I felt something but it was buried under adrenaline.

“Best civilian pilot. Also certifiable enough to fly this airspace. We’re lucky to have him.” I shook my head.

“So you two…do you…fondue?” He stammered.

“What?” I asked as the plane shuddered. We were under attack. Steve went to the door to jump.

“Wait, we’re not there!” I called.

“As soon as I’m clear you two get the hell out of here!” He yelled back.

“You can’t give me orders!”

“Yes I can, I’m a captain!” He smirked and jumped.

-

“He never contacted you…oh, Ava.” Peggy was walking with me. We had heard nothing of Steve since he jumped. I had managed to distract Phillips, making him super motivated about other tasks every time he tried to yell at me.

“The thing is, I truly believe he’s okay. I just feel it.” I finished lamely.

“You feel it or you ‘feel’ it?” She asked.

“I don’t know really-” My words were cut short as we heard a commotion at the entrance of the camp. There was a large crowd of men gathered.

“What the hell?” Phillips grumbled as he walked past us. Peggy and I followed and as the crowd parted I saw Steve and Bucky with a troop of men behind them. They approached Phillips and spoke with him momentarily. Then they came to Peggy and I.

“It’s impolite to keep a lady waiting.” I raised my eyebrows.

“Well, I had a slight issue calling for my ride.” He held up his mangled communicator. He shrugged.

“Let’s hear it for Captain America.” Bucky declared. As everyone cheered my eyes turned to Bucky. He looked exhausted and the smile fell from his face as he watched Steve. I felt a difference in him from the last time I had read him. The bravado was there, but it was like something had tampered with the depth of his emotions. Bucky felt me staring and his gaze shot to me. I felt distrust, then heat, then jealousy, all centering around Steve and I. He had changed, and changing in the hands of HYDRA was never good.

-

Steve became an integral part of the mission. He helped to lay out strategies and even formed his own squad containing Bucky and the other POW’s he had rescued. Stark and I were in the lab almost constantly trying to work on the serum but also new weaponry. Steve seemed attached to having a shield so we had come up with something.

Working close to Steve had one unfortunate side effect. I fell for him. I missed my father and at first, I thought I felt happy being in the presence of his success. But I couldn’t care less about Captain America, Steve was who I liked to be around. Bucky, too. After the initial riot in his emotions I felt, it had settled into friendly feelings.

“You have no special feeling for Rogers? So it’s his friend you’re enamored with ?” Peggy grinned as she watched me check my hair in a mirror.

“This is why they don’t want women in our position. You can’t fall for a fellow officer. But it’s an excuse to wear my new dress.” I shrugged. I couldn’t remember the last time I dressed up. Howard and I had decided it was time to show Steve what we had been working on. I was going to the bar where his men were having a pre-victory celebration. I walked in and drew several eyes in my attire. Steve and Bucky were at the bar and turned as I approached. I blocked out their somewhat inappropriate feelings as fast as I could, but I still had to steady myself as I approached. My mind flashed to Steve shirtless and quickly tamped that down.

“Captain.” I smiled. Bucky was radiating ‘look at me’ so I purposely ignored him.

“Agent.” Steve smiled back.

“Howard and I have some ideas for your weaponry if you could stop by tomorrow morning?”

“I will be there.”

“You all seem in a festive mood. Training, are you?” I stifled a smile.

“Don’t tell me you don’t like music?” Steve didn’t realize he was flirting, he was fair at it.

“I love it. I look forward to dancing again soon.” I tilted my head.

“What are we waiting for?” Bucky asked me. I cast my eyes at him with a small smile.

“The right partner is very important, Bucky. Steve.” I locked eyes with Steve and nodded as I left.


	4. Chapter 4

I guess finding the right partner wasn’t such an issue for Steve anymore. I exited the lab the next day to find him in the embrace of Pvt. Lorraine. Jealousy flared, hot and sick in my stomach. Steve jerked away, I knew he felt it.

“Captain, if you’re ready.” I pulled my shoulders back and turned, heading to the lab.

“Av-Agent Erskine, wait!” Steve called.

“Waiting is overrated apparently.” I muttered.

“That’s not what you thought it was.” We had reached a secluded area and I turned on him.

“What did I think it was, Steve? What am I feeling?” I narrowed my eyes at him.

“I mean, what about you and Stark. Fonduing…all over?” Steve gestured with his hands.

“I suppose it’s neither one of our concern who is fonduing with who.” I hissed. He was guilty, jealous, frustrated. It was making my head hurt. I pushed through the lab doors and went to find Peggy.

I explained what had happened.

“Hm, well, your marksmanship has improved. You could shoot him, but I can’t recommend it. You could use your little secret and make him feel what an imbecile he is?” Peggy suggested.

“Wonderful idea in theory.”

We ran across Steve and Howard discussing the Vibranium shield. It was an extremely rare substance, but the properties were amazing.

“What do you think?” Steve held the shield and grinned at me. Remembering Peggy’s suggestion I pulled my gun and fired. The bullets bounced harmlessly off the shield like I knew they would.

“Seems fine.” I shrugged.

“Yes, I believe it works.” Peggy nodded and we left.

-

“Ava?”

I jumped at Steve’s timid greeting. He’d come up behind me while I was bent over a microscope in my little office. Howard was somewhere working on a uniform, Peggy was at a strategy meeting. I was coming close to cracking the serum and it helped keep my mind off what happened earlier. I hated jealousy. It was almost as bad as fear and anger for me. The empathic thing didn’t always come in traditional feelings. Sometimes I saw them in colors or tasted them. The fact that I had no claim to Steve made it all worse. I thought he felt something for me, maybe I was projecting the whole time. This is why I tended to stay away from any form of a romantic relationship. Being a thirteen-year-old who could feel the hormones of all the boys and girls around her was more than awkward.

“Captain.” I turned and gave him a tight smile.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you since the rescue. It’s been…busy.” He cleared his throat, guilt emanating.

“Very. One on one time is difficult to find. Well, for certain people.” I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Schmidt mentioned you.” He blurted out, my arms fell to my sides.

“I wasn’t expecting that. I thought you were going to give some uncomfortable apology about kissing Lorraine.” I pulled a chair out and sat down, crossing my legs.

“I didn’t, I mean, the fondue thing…” Steve gestured with his hands.

“I know.” I gave a small smile. “So, what did Mr. Schmidt have to say? Or show you?”

“Did you know about him?” Steve asked. “His face…”

“It’s unsettling isn’t it?” I shuddered. “Did he ask about me?”

“He said that, um, we were all the same. I remembered right before the experiment, you made me feel better somehow. And earlier…”

“Sorry, I’m usually better at controlling it. It’s called being empathic. Just a heightened ability to sense others feelings and assess emotional climates. But HYDRA decided to see what would happen if the ‘super-soldier serum’ was administered to me. And a small dose of a mind control additive.”

“Mind control?”

“It didn’t work, something to do with my IQ and comprehension skills. Schmidt planned on using me as sort of a prototype for a controlled agent. I could emotionally manipulate people for him.” I lowered my head. “I know all this is a little off-putting.”

“He mentioned that you belonged with HYDRA. But Ava, nothing about you is off-putting.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “Except for maybe the shooting at me.”

“I was just testing your shield.” I stood up. “We’re not like him, you know.”

“What are we?”

“Well, you’re the same as you were when I met you. Shiny, loyal, hopeful. You’re a good man, just keep that and you’ll be fine.” I smiled. He was looking at the floor and I saw him smirk.

“And you?”

“I’m still trying to figure that out.”

-

“Steve said you were in HYDRA.” Bucky greeted me one day. Several months had passed. Steve’s squad, the Howling Commandos, had destroyed most of the HYDRA bases with determination. They were currently back prepping for the ultimate mission. Tomorrow they would be going after Schmidt.

I laughed when Bucky greeted me this way. I had gotten to know him when he and Steve would return to the base between missions. It was Bucky who had told me Steve carried a picture of me in his compass. This provided him with much entertainment in ribbing the both of us. He asked where we would settle down after the war. Causing Steve to blush and practically run away. They were truly opposites but they loved one another so much.

“Born into it, actually. Why?” I looked up from my papers and leaned closer to him over the table. I didn’t like my past being common knowledge.

“They experimented on you, did you remember it?” Bucky asked, his dark hair flopping over one eye as he sat in a chair.

“Yes. I had to be awake and I didn’t fight them. So they let me remain in my right mind. Why?”

“Steve mentioned something about messing with your head. They can do that?” He was flustered. The idea of losing control over himself, against his will was hurting him.

“Shh, it’s okay. Be still for a moment.” I put my hand over his on the table. That shifting in him was there, but not dark. It was strange. A mental fog.

“Steve’s lucky he has you.” Bucky’s rough voice was relaxing as I soothed him. “I always said he’d end up with a nice gal. Family, house, all that.”

“Bucky, you’re fine. I don’t see any real change in you. Just a strangeness that I’m not sure wasn’t there before.” I smirked at him, looking up at him through my lashes.

“You give good sass, ma’am.” He smirked back at me. “If Steve doesn’t move fast, I’ll ask for a dance again, Ava.”

“Sergeant Barnes, I don’t dance with just anyone.” I took my hand off his, pretending to be offended. I laughed and didn’t realize Steve had entered the room, talking with Peggy.

“Agent Carter, you look gorgeous.” Bucky was watching Peggy approach and missed Steve leaving.

“I’ll see you later.” I stood from the table and followed Steve to the strategy room.

“Goodbye kiss?” Steve was looking over some maps, he wouldn’t turn to face me.

“Good luck, actually. Bucky is my friend, you know. Would you like one too?” I asked. He could feel gloomy all he wanted. A kiss on the cheek was nothing compared to what I saw him and Lorraine doing so long ago.

“You kiss all your friends?” He faced me then, jaw tight.

I huffed in exasperation and grabbed his neck with one hand. I pulled his mouth to mine and kissed him. His jaw relaxed as I grabbed one of his hands and put it to the small of my back. He seemed unsure what to do, nervous about what the protocol was. So he just let me kiss him. It was nice, to be in control. Most men were all over and taking charge. I hummed as I ended the kiss. His eyes were wide.

“Not like that I don’t.”

“Oh-okay.” He coughed and slowly brought his lips back to mine. His hands went to my waist and he pulled me closer to him, hmm, him taking charge wasn’t so bad either. I wrapped my arms around his neck. He tilted his head, trying a different angle and deepening the kiss.

“Good luck Cap.” I put my forehead to his as he broke the kiss.

-

When several people are drowning under the same emotion, I will usually stay away from them. But I couldn’t stay away from Steve. They had captured Zola but lost Bucky. I found Steve in the burned-out shell of the bar where he and Bucky had celebrated being reunited. Where Bucky had asked me to dance. My eyes were swollen and sore. Bucky had become such a fixture in my life, just like Steve. He heard me waking my way over the rubble.

“Your dad said the serum wouldn’t just mess with my muscles, it would affect my cells. Create a protective system of regeneration and healing. Which, I guess, means I can’t get drunk.” He had been crying, too. I went to the table and sat next to him.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“You read the reports Ava, you know that’s not true.” He looked at the table and I put a hand on his cheek so he would look at me.

“You believed in Bucky, I know you did. You respected him. Stop taking away the impact of his choice. It was for you because he believed in you and respected you.”

“I’m ending it.” He held my hand tighter to his face. “I won’t lose anyone else. I’m going after Schmidt and I will not stop until all HYDRA is dead or captured.” His voice was huskier from his crying.

“Let’s see what Phillips’ new friend has to say.”

-

Phillips’ new friend happened to be Zola. After much interrogation, we discovered the last HYDRA base was in the Alps. There was much planning as the entire SSR prepared for war.

“He asked to see Agent Erskine again.” Phillips announced as we were in deep strategy mode.

“No.” Steve and Peggy said in unison.

“Fine. But only for a moment.” I shot a look at them. I entered the room where he was being held.

“Ava, you haven’t aged.” Zola seemed pleased.

“Only a year or two. The serum increases longevity. What do you want?”

“You had so much promise, Ava. HYDRA would have afforded you so many opportunities. Your innate knowledge.”

“HYDRA wanted to use me as a test subject, not a scientist. It’s going to end Zola.”

“Yes, the super-soldier, Rogers. His abilities came out of a syringe. What about you? Power, Ava, you have it. There are things outside the realm of this world. Things you would never dream of. Control and power Ava, that’s all that matters.”

“And that’s why HYDRA is a virus that needs to be eradicated. Because you believe that.” I turned on my heel and strode out. I wasn’t an oddity, I wasn’t. I needed to clear my head for battle.

-

I don’t remember much of the attack on the final HYDRA base. My combat skills had finally reached their peak, I killed many operatives. I remember kissing Steve as he jumped on a plane taking off with Schmidt inside. I remember waiting for some word in the radio control room. And I remember losing him.

“Schmidt’s dead.” Steve’s voice crackled through the radio. I was just relieved he was still alive.

“Good, give me your coordinates.” I was eager to find him a safe landing spot for the plane.

“Ava, I can’t land it. I’m going to have to force her down.” His voice was unsteady. Peggy and Phillips left the room quietly.

“What? No, no, I can figure this out! I can just let me think.” The panic was rising in my voice.

“We don’t have time. This thing is headed for New York, I gotta put her in the water.” His voice was stronger now, he’d made his choice.

“No! Rogers, don’t do this! Please.” My voice broke on the last word, the vehemence draining from me.

“Ava, a lot of people are gonna die if I don’t. It’s my choice.”

“Okay.” I whispered. “Okay.”

“So, I’m gonna need a rain check on our dance.” I gave a hiccuping laugh.

“Sure, uh, next Saturday. You can pick me up at 8, not one minute later.”

“I still have no idea how to dance.” I heard the smile in his voice. Planning for a future we both wanted, but knew wouldn’t happen.

“We have plenty of time for me to teach you. Just be there.”

“Still, better have the band play something slow. Sorry if I step on your-”

The transmission went dead and the first tears fell from my cheeks to the radio.

“Steve…Steven?” I whimpered.

-

“Steve?” I breathed as I looked at the frozen object on the screen.

“Found 72 hours ago. He’s…defrosting.” Fury shrugged. We were in an SUV outside a large building in the middle of New York. The image changed to a 40’s style hospital room. Steve was in an SSR outfit, much like right after his transformation. He was still sleeping.

“Why didn’t you call me earlier?” I scanned all the info on the tablet. Coulson had kept watch over Steve as scientists brought him back. Not creepy.

“Why don’t you answer calls from your superiors?” Fury shot back.

“Because elders overrule superiors. I’m old enough to be your mother.” I didn’t look up from the prone form on the screen.

“You are a terrible agent. You know that, right? Just because you were one of the founders of this outfit. You could’ve been the director and dealt with all this sh-”

“No thank you. I am legally dead, you know.” I smirked at him. Fury and I were good friends, I had pushed for him to be the director of SHIELD. I liked being an agent. 70 years carrying on what the SSR and Steve stood for. Watching everyone move on with their lives, having families.

“Yeah, yeah.”

Fury and I were waiting. Waiting to see how waking up decades after he died would agree with Steve. As it turned out, not well. He tore apart the staging area and bolted from the building.

“Okay, the subtle approach didn’t work.” Maria Hill said over my earpiece.

“I could’ve told you that.” I grabbed the door as the SUV took off. Fury shot me a nasty look. “Sorry, but trying to ease him into it would just make him wary.”

“This is why you answer your damn phone, Ava!” Fury grumbled. We screeched to a stop in Times Square where Steve was paralyzed in shock. Fury exited the SUV and addressed Steve. He explained the situation and I chewed on a fingernail. Steve looked heartbroken and said something about a date.

“Hello Rogers.” The heartbroken look turned back to shock as I exited the SUV.


End file.
